tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64090701830995439602023-06-20T07:03:21.473-06:00It is what it isMichelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-28182589383902192112020-03-30T09:05:00.001-06:002020-03-30T09:26:27.976-06:00Who you areMy family and I love to watch Disney movies. If they've made it, chances are we've seen it. I won't bother mentioning how many times I've had to watch Frozen 2 since it came out. đ
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But lately I've been thinking about another Disney movie that we love, which is Moana. We saw it in the theaters when it first came out and we loved it, but there has always been one line in the movie that really bugged me. In the song "Where you are" when Moana is trying to decide what to do, her grandmother sings this line:<br />
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"You are your father's daughter</div>
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stubbornness and pride</div>
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mind what he says but remember</div>
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you may hear a voice inside</div>
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and if the voice starts to whisper</div>
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to follow the farthest star</div>
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Moana, that voice inside is <b>who you are</b>."</div>
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This idea always bugged me, but I could never quite put it to words. I could never quite define exactly why. But as things have been unfolding with the coronavirus and the quarantines, things have kind of clicked into place and I've finally been able to solidify this idea of what it was about that line that bothered me. </div>
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And it all comes down to this idea that what we <b>do</b> is <b>who we are</b>. </div>
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I grew up in an athletic family and we were playing sports year-round. I played just about everything. Soccer, softball, basketball, track, cross country, even football during recess or with my family. I was very competitive and I felt like sports defined me. Later I found volleyball and I loved it. I wanted to play forever. I was too short to play in college but I was determined to somehow get around that because I loved playing. That's who I was. </div>
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As I got older, I was introduced to dance. I started taking dance classes and then I eventually started teaching classes and dance became a huge part of my life. I felt drawn to all kinds of dance and it felt so natural, like a part of who I was. I couldn't imagine my life without dancing. And it felt like that was who I was. </div>
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As I went on my mission and then off to college, the chances for either of those things was more and more limited. At first, I would play on co-ed volleyball teams and go dancing with friends on the weekends. Then I was working two jobs and trying to pass my classes and my time for that shrunk considerably. </div>
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Then I got married and had my first kid. Having children consumed my life in ways that I had never imagined, and volleyball and dance and everything else suddenly took second place to this little life we had brought into the world. But that was okay, but I had a new purpose. Motherhood came to define my life.<br />
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And while all of those things are important to me, and are things that I enjoy, I've come to realize that who I am is so much more than any one of those things. </div>
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And that is exactly the problem. We spend our lives defining our happiness, defining who we are, based on things that don't last. </div>
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We may love a sport, a dance, any physical activity; but some day our bodies will give out or the demands of adult life will take over</div>
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We may love our children, and we will ALWAYS be mothers; but some day those same children will grow up and start families of their own and they will no longer define our day to day actions. </div>
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Sometimes we lose the most important people in our life, and we struggle to figure out who we are without them. </div>
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We seem to spend on our lives deciding who we are based on our life circumstances; based on what we do or who we love; and no matter how much we wish it wasn't true, those things can change. </div>
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And that's something that we are starting to see with the effects of this quarantine. Suddenly, people are losing jobs, losing hobbies, losing options. Some are even losing loved ones. While some of us are happily binge watching Netflix, there are others who are really struggling to find balance in a constantly changing world. </div>
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So, the real question is: Who are you?</div>
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If you take away the house, the car, the phone and the television. Take away the memes and the endless streaming, and the music. Take away the things we DO. And who are we without it?</div>
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I don't know if we'll ever have an opportunity quite like this again. A time when the chaos of the world forces you to stay home, to take a look around, and (if we're doing this right), to re-evaluate. To focus on what really matters. And hopefully, to take the time to redefine what makes us who we are. </div>
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Panic has made good Christian people into self-serving hoarders. </div>
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A virus has made us choose between protecting those at risk and our own convenience. And far too often convenience is winning out</div>
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So many of even the most well-intentioned parents are losing their minds, not because they don't love their children, but because of everything they feel like they have to DO to make up for what they feel their kids are missing out on. </div>
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What you DO does not define WHO YOU ARE! </div>
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And neither does your failures or even your successes. </div>
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But what you do in times of crisis like these, does <b>reflect</b> who you are on the inside. </div>
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I think it's time to really take a look at who we are. At what defines us. At what really matters to us. To look at who we want to be in the future and what we have to change to get there. And then make sure that our actions line up with that. </div>
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Let who you are determine what you do, not the other way around. </div>
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Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-40770346452401434602017-05-01T11:25:00.000-06:002017-05-01T11:25:37.721-06:00Why must everything be a political statement?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">I guess it's somewhat ironic that I am writing this on May day which is pretty much </span><b style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;">the</b><span style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif;"> day to make political statements in the loudest way possible. But this is something that has been on my mind for a while now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So much has changed in the last decade. I remember the days when you had to wait for the nightly news to find out what gruesome thing had happened that day. Now a days the news is posted while its happening, and not just by news sources, but by anyone to happens to be there. And that goes beyond just the typical news stories. You can just scroll down your Facebook feeds and chances are you will see articles about business, health, and child raising, most of them with a clear stance on what they think you should or shouldn't do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And not just that, but people now have the ability to publicize their personal lives in a way that they never could before. Suddenly people are not only sharing every aspect of their lives, but are now telling you how you should live yours. What movies you should watch (or not watch). What stores to shop at. What products to use. How to discipline your child...and so on and so on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Between all of the social media sites and apps, it has become easier that ever to share your personal life with the world. Which also means that each and every little thing is being used to make a statement. If you support breastfeeding, you can't just quietly breastfeed your baby now. No, you have to post pictures of it, or videos of it, or better yet, just go ahead and squirt breast milk on people who disagree and post it on Facebook and the whole world will be taking sides withing just a few hours. (yes, that really happened)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And yet it goes beyond that. In fact, it is beginning to pervade every aspect of our lives. You can't shop at Target because of their bathroom policy. Don't use sunscreen because it's toxic. Oh yeah, and so is pretty much everything else you eat. You can't use regular diapers because of the chemicals. You can't let your kids watch the TV because that makes you a bad mom. I can't even go to the store without overthinking which store I got to or what I buy. Nowadays, you can't even listen to Taylor Swift because of whatever stupid feud she happens to be in! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Come on people, give it a break! Why are we shaming everyone else who doesn't live or act or choose the same way that we do. When did making decisions about your personal life become a militant act that means that we must now force everyone to do the same thing? Why are we ruining friendship based on what, in the end, are (or should be) very private, personal decisions?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Diversity isn't a bad thing. And someone making different choices in their lives doesn't make them a bad person. There is so much happening in the world and yet we're hassling each other over the minute details of our lives instead of focusing on the big issues. If you want to make a political statement, make one that counts. Stand up against injustice, against racism, against bigotry. Stand up for what you believe in and then understand that some people might disagree and that's okay. Let's agree to disagree without demanding, demeaning, or disregarding other peoples opinions. </span><br />
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<a href="https://marylouisewehunt.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/get-along.jpg?w=497&h=406" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img alt="Image result for my life is a political statement" border="0" height="163" src="https://marylouisewehunt.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/get-along.jpg?w=497&h=406" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You remember when you mom used to say, 'if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all'? Let's take a little lesson from the good old days, huh? If you can't share without demeaning, then don't share at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Now you'll have to excuse me while I go rock out to some Taylor Swift (and no, I don't know who she is currently on the outs with and I really don't care.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Happy May day everyone!</span><br />
<br />Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-87951678597469043932017-02-13T14:16:00.000-07:002017-02-13T14:16:09.884-07:005 Must-see Old Movies for the beginner<div class="MsoNormal">
I almost canât remember a time when I didnât love watching
old movies. I really got into them during high school. There was a regional
youth activity where we were all taught different dances and one of the dances
that I was doing was a hat and cane dance. The teacher of that dance ended
becoming a mentor and a great friend to me. At the time I remember her
mentioning that the dance was inspired by a dance done by Fred Astaire. I had
no idea who that was but as soon as I got home I looked him up and there
started my lifelong love of his dancing and his movies. She also had a
collection of old movies that she would let me borrow and I decided that I
wanted to one day have a collection of my own that I could share with others,
to inspire in them the same love for old movies that she had inspired in me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have slowly began buying old movies and I currently have
more than 60 movies, but I found that most people arenât too interested because
they think that they donât like old movies. (Which is of course absurd!) And Iâve
realized that the problem lies mostly with those of us who love old movies. We
nag and nettle and finally convince our friends to watch an old movie with us,
and with the fear that this will be the only old movie they will ever watch we
are determined to make them watch a âclassicâ. So you start with Gone with the Wind
(which is 4 hours long!!!). And while there are reasons it is a classic, it is
daunting at times even for those of us who like it. Or you pick All about Eve
(which is 2.5 hours long!) which is also a long drama. Or you pick some other
depressing or dramatic movie that is meant to inspire and has clearly earned its
place as a classic, but is not very fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Stop doing that people! No wonder people think they donât
like old movies! Itâs because theyâre missing out on the joy and the fun of
them. The dramas have their place for sure, but letâs build up to it. I came to
love old movies based on the fun, the dancing, the humor! <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, if your new to old movies, or if you think you donât
like them, or if you love them but canât seem to convince your friends to watch
them, here is a list of some of the best starter movies for you:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1. <b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The Wizard
of Oz</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I almost didnât include this movie, simply because I
thought, surely everyone has already seen this movie. But Iâve been surprised
by how many people actually havenât seen it! If you havenât seen this movie
this a great place to start because chances are you are already somewhat
familiar with it. Unless youâve been living under rock you probably know the general
premise and some of the songs. And beyond that, this movie was so well done! It
is Judy Garland at her best. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I have heard some people get confused at the beginning.
To clarify, the movie starts out in black and white and later changes to color
(no, there is nothing wrong with your tv)<o:p></o:p></div>
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2. <b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Singinâ in
the Rain</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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This is one of my all-time favorite movies ever! This is one
that I can watch over and over again. And in fact, it is the only musical that
my husband will ever watch with me, and while he is reluctant to admit it, he
really enjoyed it. And in large part it is because this movie is hilarious! Even
if you set aside the singing and dancing (which are great), and the great actors,
this movie would be good just based on its wit and humor. All of it is subtle
but itâs so well written and very original. And the of course the singing and
dancing is fun as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There is a part of the movie where Gene Kelly is reviewing
plans for a musical number they are doing and it turns into a very long and
involved dance number. Those who have watched it with me and often expressed
boredom during that small section because it is such a long dance number. Iâll
set aside my justifications about how great the dancing number is, and for
those of you who maybe donât appreciate it as much, let me just say, âSuck it
upâ, because the rest of the movie more than makes up for it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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3<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. <b>Some Like it Hot</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Nowadays Marilyn Monroe has become a household name, but
what most people donât know is that she wasnât as critically acclaimed until
long after her death. She was one of the most underpaid actresses of her time
and was often type cast in a dumb blonde role. And while today we consider many
of her movies to be classics, they werenât all equally praised at the time of
their release. Now, a lot of people automatically refer you to Seven Year Itch
as her most famed role (this movie is the source of the iconic shot of Marilyn
standing over a grate with her dress blowing around her). I donât recommend
that movie for a number of reasons, but the biggest being the fact that she is
just a nameless neighbor who becomes the source of daydreams for a married man.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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But this movie is not only hilarious, it also the movie
that earned Monroe a Golden Globe for best actress. It was voted as the best
comedy by the American Film Institute and is considered to have one of the best
film endings of any movie ever made. So, if you have yet to see a Marilyn
Monroe flick, this is where you should start!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">4. <b>Roman Holiday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Audrey Hepburn is one of my favorite actresses. There are a
number of movies that she made that are wonderful and definitely worth
watching, but this movie is a great place to start. Now, most people will start
you off with Breakfast at Tiffanyâs. While that is definitely a classic and
worth watching, it is also nothing like what you are expecting. The romance is quirky
and unconventional and some people donât enjoy it the first time around and so
they stop there (thereâs also the issue of Mickey Rooneyâs Japanese character).
So, letâs build up to that movie by starting here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In this movie Hepburn plays a princess on holiday in Rome.
She has her usual grace and pose but this movie is also very fun. Thereâs
plenty of adventure and romance and it is the perfect introduction. This was also
her first Hollywood film and her role won her an Academy Award for best
actress. <o:p></o:p></div>
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5<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">. <b>Swing Time</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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My love of old movies started with Fred Astaire, and so we
will end with him. Fred Astaire and Ginger Roberts did a number of movies
together and they were famous for their amazing dance numbers. No one else does
it quite as well as those two did. This is one of their most popular movies and
one of my favorites. The dancing is amazing, but even if you canât appreciate
that, the movie itself is very funny.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Astaire plays a lucky gambler who has promised to return to
marry his fiancée once he makes $25,000. But then he meets Penny (Rogers) and
becomes her dance partner, and find himself wanting to be more. And so now he
must lose his money so that he doesnât have to go back and marry the fiancĂ©e whoâs
waiting for him! Thereâs plenty of fun and comedy, and this is actually where
the song âThe way you look tonightâ was debuted. This is classic Hollywood at itâs best and definitely worth watching!<o:p></o:p></div>
Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-49430660016617683082016-08-01T12:57:00.002-06:002017-02-13T19:11:55.855-07:00I kind of suck at being a friend, and hereâs why<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Usually this is the point where I put an adorable picture of
my kids and explain why being a parent makes me a bad friend. And while, that
may be true, thatâs not what weâre talking about here. Or maybe this is where I
expose the frustrations of my schedule working for a police department and why
I never have time for anyone. And while that is also true, itâs actually not
the real point here either. In fact there are hundreds of posts out there that
explain why someone is a bad friend but none of them address what my real
underlying issue is. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The real issue is: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Iâm
Shy</b>.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And this is the part where you all say, âWhat? No youâre
not!â; Or maybe youâre thinking, thatâs a really lame excuse. And youâre right,
it is. But hear me out, because there are bound to be a couple things here that
maybe you didnât know about me. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Growing up I was so extremely shy that I didnât really talk
to anyone besides my immediate family. And I happened to have an older sister
who was more than happy to be the center of attention, so I was able to get
away with it for a long time (thank you for that, by the way). I was that kid
that walked to school and back with my nose in a book (literally) because it
was easier to read than to face the social anxiety of trying to talk to people.
I was that kid in high school that always made random, stupid comments in a
lame effort to try to participate. In fact, I used to have to practice having conversations
in my room at home (and trust me, it doesnât help). No matter what I did, any
time I was faced with social situations I found myself freezing up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My life was full of awkward silence and
constantly wracking my brain for something to say, only to find that the
conversation had already moved on to something else by the time I could think
of anything to say. I would go home at night and relive all my horrible
conversation and just wanted to pound my head against a wall (figuratively
people, Iâm not that bad) which only heightened my social anxiety.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And then I got called to lead the regional youth group for
my church. Part of my responsibility involved speaking in front of large groups
of people. And while it was hard at first, I found that I actually started to
enjoy it. And then I served a proselyting mission for my church and had to
teach on a daily basis. And I found that I enjoyed that too. In fact, my favorite
job ever was teaching Spanish to missionaries who were preparing to go do the
same thing. And this is where my real problems started. See, I enjoyed speaking
in public, and I could teach a class like a boss, but I still sucked at any
real socializing, like small talk; before, I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">always</i> socially awkward so I had an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">excuse</i> for being bad in social situations. But all of the sudden I
became confident in front of large groups. I could talk and joke and involve
people easily when I was teaching. And suddenly, people no longer believed that
I was shy. They would see me acting confident while teaching or speaking in
public, and couldnât understand why I was suddenly awkward in one on one
conversation. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And then I got married, and it got even worse. See, my
husband is a natural when it comes to social interactions. He can laugh, and
joke and talk all day (and I still have no clue how he does it). And he became
my trailblazer. Itâs kind of like when you go hiking in the snow, you always
make sure youâre strongest hikers are at the front to lay the trail and every
else can just follow in their steps and it makes the hike easier. And
interacting with other people when my husband is there is so much easier. He
picks up where I falter, he can lead the conversation and it is so much easier
for me to just follow. But then, I suddenly find myself having to interact with
those same people without my husband there, and my social anxiety becomes more
apparent. People start to wonder why Iâm so social when my husband is there,
and yet seem to have nothing to say when heâs not. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And I try, I really do. I try to think of conversation
topics beforehand. And I force myself to pick up the phone when you call, even
though I fail epically at phone conversations. And I try not to hide on the couch
when weâre in groups, even though mingling is seriously my personal worst
nightmare. But at some point all of you have probably seen me at my worse
socially without ever knowing what was really going on. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And let me just say Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry if you were in one
of my classes but when you saw me later I wasnât as friendly or open as you
expected, even though I was really excited to see you. Iâm sorry if I sometimes
choose to give in to my antisocial tendencies and just ignore the world (because,
hey, itâs <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exhausting</i> trying to force
yourself to be social when it doesnât come naturally). And Iâm sorry if I donât
call as much as I should or have long meaningful conversations like I would
like to. I promise, that itâs not because I donât want to. No matter how well I
know you or how much I care about you, I still freeze up sometimes. This is one
of those situations where I can sincerely say, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">itâs me, not you</b>, and really mean it. I want to be your friend. I
want to know about your life, and I want to spend time with you, I just donât
really know how to do it (at least not very well). </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And thank you! Thank you for being my friend despite all of
the above. And thank you for putting up with all my awkward silences, and
stupid comments, and antisocial tendencies. And while I canât promise it will
go away (after all, Iâve been trying to get rid of it for 30+ years already) I
can at least promise to keep trying. And thank you to all you trailblazers out
there. I enjoy being social (most of the time) and I love it when I find those
special friends who are so full of life that they just pull me along with them.
Thank you for taking the burden away from me and being willing the take the
lead when I canât think of anything to say. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And to all those out there who struggle with the same
things, even though it may not be in the same way; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the fact that people donât understand your social anxiety doesnât make
it any less real.</b> Trust me, I feel your pain. Just keep at it. I canât
promise that it will get better, but I can promise that you will find people
who will love you anyways. And no matter what, just keep swimming!</span></div>
<br />Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-87465284903788539102016-07-25T08:57:00.001-06:002017-02-13T19:11:24.683-07:008 things you need to know when making a 911 call (inside advice from a 911 dispatcher)<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">As a
911 dispatcher for a large city, we receive upwards of 50,000 phone calls a
week. While the content of each call varies, there are some things that stay
the same. And one of the things that is very clear, is that most people donât
know how to make a 911 call. The reality is that some of us may only call 911
once or twice in our lifetime. So on
those rare occasions that they do call 911, most citizens donât know what to
expect which can make the experience very frustrating. So, let me help you out
a bit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">First,
we need to note that important decisions related to emergency situations need
to be made beforehand. In the moment, once adrenaline starts running the stress
and emotion of the situation often make it very difficult for people to think
clearly. You need to be able to react without thinking about it (Thatâs why
self-defense focuses so much on muscle memory and repetition). The same thing
applies to making decisions. You need to decide now how you are going to react
during given emergency situations if you want to stay in control during the
actual event. So when it comes to making 911 calls, review in your mind the
information you need to know beforehand. Practice making pretend 911 calls with
your children. The better prepared you are, the easier it will go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">And
now, for the things you need to know</span>:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">1) Location,
Location, Location<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">You
will find that when you call in to 911, the first thing that an operator will
ask for is the location. Sometimes that can be frustrating if you have a
license plate you wanted to read off or other important information that you
want to get across. You will probably even find that the operator will cut you
off, and continue to do so, until they can get a clear location. Why? In our
age of technology most people assume that we automatically get an accurate GPS
location as soon as you call in. Not true. Any GPS location for phones is based
on triangulation and is not very accurate. I can tell that when we have to put
in calls based on GPS location alone, we rarely ever actually find the person
calling. In addition, the GPS coordinates take time to become accurate. While I
am retransmitting a call to get an accurate location the coordinates will often
jump all over the map. And while it may be within 2 or 3 blocks of your
location, itâs not as accurate as you think. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">And
while any other information you are trying to share may be important, it will
always be secondary to location. Even if we donât know anything about what is
going on, if we have a location we can at least send officers out. So be
patient while they try to verify your location. Be patient if you have to say
it once or twice. And if you have the time to safely do so, try to get a good
location before calling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">2) We know what weâre
doing<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; text-indent: 3.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">This is a hard one for a lot of
people to accept. Please remember that we receive extensive training before we
ever sit down and answer a phone. Weâre trained in dealing with a number of
different situations including mental illness, suicidal callers, and domestic
violence. Chances are weâve already handled numerous emergencies just like the
one youâre reporting. And most importantly, we know our departmentâs policy.
Each department has a specific policy on how we respond in each given situation
and it often depends on whatâs going on the in the area, so even if you donât like
what we have to say, trust me, thereâs a reason weâre saying it. And while weâre
humans and we can make mistakes, for the most part, we know what weâre doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in; text-indent: 3.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Also remember that 911 operators
will often have different priorities when it comes to information. In the heat
of the moment people often want to regurgitate all the information they have as
fast as they can, but there is a reason that we ask questions in the order that
we ask them. Think of a 911 call as an interview. Your job is to let the
operator direct the call. Let them tell you what they want to know. There are
some things that they are always going to want to know right away, such as
location, or if there are any weapons involved. But each police department has a
different policy on call taking and they have a specific order that they go in
for a very specific reason. So take a deep breath, hold on for a sec, and let
them tell you what they want to know. Once theyâve gone through their list of
questions, feel free to provide any further details that they may not have
asked for. And if it takes them a second to ask another question, be patient.
They are probably just trying to type it all up or trying to advise their
dispatcher. The most important thing to remember, Help us help you by letting
us direct the call. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">3)
What is an emergency to you is not always an emergency to us<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">This
is a long one so stay with me here. In general, if someone calls in to 911 it
is because they have an emergency. (If you donât have an emergency, why are you
calling 911? Google the non-emergency number!!!) But it is important to
recognize that what you consider an emergency and what we consider an emergency
is not always the same thing. There are a couple factors that go into
determining if a call is an emergency, and again, it will be different for each
agency.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Time
Frame</span></u><b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">:</span></b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">
The first thing to consider is time frame. How long ago did this happen. This
does not mean how long ago you noticed it; it means how long ago it actually
happened. If you call in to 911 and say âsomeone just broke into my carâ, the
assumption is that you just watched someone break into your car and they are
now running away. If you parked your car three hours ago and you have just come
back and noticed that it was broken into, then it didnât just happen. In general,
if itâs not happening now or didnât just happen within the last 10 minutes or
so, itâs probably not an emergency. There are of course exceptions to this rule
and if there are exigent circumstances, better safe than sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Suspect
Location:<i> </i></span></u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">The next thing to consider is if
the suspect is still on scene. No matter what the crime is, if the suspect is
still on scene there is always the chance that things may escalate. That will increase
the urgency of the call. But, again, circumstances differ on this. A recent
shooting with a suspect still there is very different from your neighbor still being
on scene after an argument because, hey, they live right next door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Weapons:</span></u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;"> The third thing to consider is
weapons. If someone is brandishing a weapon, holding a weapon, is saying they
have a weapon, or insinuating they have a weapon (like a hand in a pocket that
they say is a gun), then that increases the urgency. A road rage incident where
another vehicle is following you or honking at you is very different from a
road rage incident where the driver is waving a gun at you. For most of you,
this will probably be fairly obvious, but youâd be surprised how many people
wait three hours to call it in. But itâs also important to recognize that, just
like anything else, circumstances make a big difference. In a state where open
carry is legal, someone shopping in the grocery with a gun on their hip is
perfectly legal. If itâs just on a holster and they are not brandishing it,
threatening anyone with it, or doing anything else with it, this is generally
not an emergency. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Context</span></u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">: And the last thing to consider
is context throughout the jurisdiction. This is sometimes the hardest one to
understand because as a citizen you will generally not know much about what is
going on around the city until you watch the 7 o clock new, and unfortunately,
for security reasons, we usually canât tell you. So you may call in saying that
you are witnessing someone break into your vehicle right now, but there was a fatal
shooting in the area and chances are you will be waiting for a while because
all available officers in the area are trying to find the shooting suspect.
There will be times where for security reasons, or because of a high number of
emergency calls, certain precincts or even a whole department may go on
priority calls only. There will be times when they are only responding to calls
that present a threat to life. So if you feel like your call is an emergency
based on the above criteria but they arenât responding in the way you would
expect, chances are something else is going on that they canât tell you about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">And
while your heart starts racing when you come out to find that your vehicle has
been broken into, and you realize that something valuable was stolen, and while
it may feel like an emergency to you, if it doesnât meet the criteria above,
chances are itâs not an emergency. So be patient if youâre transferred to a
non-emergency line and you have to hold for a bit. Be patient if it takes a
while for an officer respond, and be aware that depending on whatâs going on in
the area it may be a couple hours (I know it sucks, but I promise, we would get
someone there sooner if there was any way we could!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">4)
911 is for emergency calls only<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">So,
now that weâve talked about whether your call is an emergency or not, lets
reiterate the fact that the 911 line is for emergencies only. If you have to
preface your call by saying âthis is not an emergencyâ then you shouldnât be
calling 911.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Please
remember that there are a limited number of 911 lines and a limited number of
911 dispatchers. Every time you call in to 911 you are tying up an emergency
line. As hard as this is to believe, there are times when 911 lines stay on
hold because we just donât have enough operators to answer every call. The last
thing that we want is for an emergency call to stay on hold while you try and
report your non-emergency. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">And
a little piece of advice: your call will actually get answered a lot quicker if
you just call the non-emergency number directly. People seem to think that if
they call in to 911 to get transferred to the non-emergency line, they will
somehow get service faster, when in fact it is the exact opposite. Any direct
call in to the non-emergency line has not yet been screened, and so they will
always be answered first. When you are transferred back from 911, that means an
operator has already screened your call and determined it is not an emergency.
So, all incoming direct calls will be answered before non-emergency operators
even begin to answer any transfers from the 911 line. So, do us a favor, and do
yourself a favor, and just call the non-emergency line directly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">5)
Be clear and concise<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst">
<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Be
clear:</span></u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Itâs
important to remember that we are not on scene. We donât see what youâre
seeing. Youâll find that a lot of the questions that we ask are to clarify
things that youâve already told us. Callers often expect us to just take them
at their word without clarifying exactly what is going on. If you are claiming
someone assaulted you, you need to explain how. Did they slap you, punch you,
push you? If you say two people are fighting, do you mean theyâre yelling at
each other or that theyâre physically fighting? Are they pushing each other,
punching each other, is it mutual or is one person the main aggressor? These
details make a big difference so itâs important that you clarify what you mean.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Likewise,
if you are calling in a suspicious person it is not enough to just say they are
suspicious. Why are they suspicious? Saying they âdonât belongâ is not enough.
So, clarify. Are they looking into windows, walking into backyards, checking
door handles on vehicles? Is there a significant crime that happened recently
that might be related? If you donât give any supporting information to back up
what youâre saying, chances are an officer is just going to do a drive by. You
have to understand that officers generally need probable cause to stop someone.
The fact that your gut is telling you theyâre suspicious is not going to hold
up in court and if the officer doesnât witness anything suspicious when he
drives by, thereâs really nothing he can do. If you donât have any proof to
offer, then maybe you should rethink your call. I know you donât want to hear
this but itâs not a crime to walk down the street. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">And
when it comes to giving a description of a suspect, remember that officers need
to be able to pick this guy out of a crowd sometimes, so the more description
the better. Generally, we ask for a description starting from top to bottom. So
start with race, gender, physical build and then clothing from top to bottom. And
while race can be a touchy topic, being clear is more important than being
politically correct. European is not a race. Mixed is not a race. Stick to the
basics (black, white, Asian, Hispanic) and once we have a basic race then you
can start clarifying based on complexion, language spoken or any other details.
Focus on any distinguishing features such as scars, tattoos, if they have glasses...etc.
Same thing with vehicles; start with a general build (sedan, suv, pickup), the
color and then any details such as license plate, any specialty rims, tinted
windows, unique bumper stickersâŠetc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Be
concise</span></u><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">This
may seem contradictory after just talking about getting details, but what we
really want is for you to stick to <u>relevant</u> details. In those moments of
stress, it is common for people to want to give every detail, and much of it is
not relevant. When we ask what youâre reporting, start by giving a brief
summary in 3 words or less. We want to be able to get through basic screening
on most calls in under 60 seconds (try timing yourself on a practice call,
because 60 seconds goes by really fast). So, try to focus on the most important
details. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">As
an example, if youâre reporting a break in to your vehicle, we donât need a
break down of what was taken or what sentimental value it has for you or your
family. We donâ need to know that technically the vehicle broken into belongs
to a sibling, who borrowed it from a parent, but is really registered in a
cousinâs name. We donât need to know that it took you an hour to clean up the
glass, or that there was someone suspicious in the neighborhood three weeks ago
that just might somehow be related even though you didnât see them today, or
that youâre a member of your neighborhood watch. Iâm not saying those details
arenât important, Iâm just saying that weâre on a 911 line right now and I have
to get off the phone as quickly as possible so I can answer other calls. So weâll
get those details on the non-emergency line, or the officer will get those
details when they get there. Stick to the basics. The sooner we can get the
call in, the sooner we can broadcast the information to the officers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">6)
Take Initiative<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Now,
I know that what Iâve already mentioned probably has you thinking to yourself,
whatâs the point of even reporting anything if Iâm just going to have to wait,
or if it doesnât seem to be important? We understand your frustration, really
we do. But now-a-days almost every police department has alternate ways of
reporting crimes. Donât wait until you have to call 911 to figure out the
policies of your local police department. Today is the best time to start
planning ahead. Start by googling their non-emergency phone number and putting
it in your phone contacts. Check and see if your local police department has an
app. A lot of departments are doing that now and you can often report crimes
straight from the app and get updates on crimes happening in the area. Then
take a trip over to their website. See if they have an option for reporting
crimes online and figure out which crimes can be reported online. See if they
have a map that shows incidents happening in the area (and avoid calling us to
find out whatâs going on because we canât tell you). You can even call the
non-emergency line and ask them the procedure for reporting common incidents,
such as breaks in to vehicles, vehicle collisionsâŠetc. And if really just want
to see an officer in person, thatâs okay too, but be prepared to wait (for a
long while sometimes). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">While
youâre doing that, find out if your local police department uses Smart 911.
Smart 911 is a really cool website that allows you to create a 911 profile. You
can enter your address, names of all family members residing at that address,
any medical history, and any other pertinent notes you need emergency responder
to know. The profile becomes attached to your cell phone so anytime you dial
911 your profile will pop up. It also allows you to upload current photos that
will be immediately available to responders if needed and provides them with
basic information such as entry codes for secured building or neighborhoods, in
case you find yourself in an emergency and you canât speak. I canât speak for
any police department in particular, but as a citizen I highly recommend it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">7)
Stay on the line if you misdial<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Weâve
all done it. Maybe you pocket dialed. Maybe you were going to report something
but see that someone else is already on the line. Maybe you were going to
report something but no longer need to. Or maybe you were just trying to dial
out and your phone system requires you dial a 9 and 1 first. And really, this
may seem like a minor thing but you would be surprised how much time wasted
making call backs and sending officers out to check on misdials. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">If
you misdial on a landline, most agencies are required to send an officer to
make sure that you are okay. You were probably surprised when you heard 911
come on the line and you disconnected right away, and then you donât answer the
phone on call backs because your embarrassed, but until we can get ahold of you
to make sure youâre okay weâre still wasting police resources trying to locate
you. Just stay on the line and advise the operator that it was a misdial and we
can disregard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">If
you misdial from a cell phone, the response differs for each agency. Some
departments are still required to do an area check in the area where the cell
was mapping to. Other departments just do a call back, but youâd be surprised
how much time can be wasted on callbacks. Just the time it takes to redial and
wait until your voicemail finally kicks in can take 2-3 minutes sometimes. And
while that may not seem like a very long time, itâs an eternity when you have
911 calls holding you have to answer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">8)
Be Patient<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">If
there is anything that you take away from this post, I hope it will be this.
There is so much going on behind the scenes that you never hear about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Please
remember that Dispatchers have bad days too. Please remember that we donât get
Christmas or Thanksgiving or 4<sup>th</sup> of July to spend with our families.
Instead, weâre here at work making sure that your family is safe. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Please
remember that we often work 12 or 16 hour days. Remember that we often have to
work on our days off, just to make sure there is someone there to answer your
call. Remember that you may be the 100<sup>th</sup> call that weâve received
today about the exact same thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Please
remember that we have to answer emotional, stressful, traumatizing calls every
single day. You have no idea what call we took right before yours. And yet, as
soon as we hang up weâre back to answering more calls. We put our own emotions
and needs on the backburner in order to handle the stress of our jobs, but no
matter how professional we try to be, sometimes it gets to us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">You
donât know if the operator youâre talking to just got off the phone with a
suicidal caller and had to listen on the line while the caller slowly died of
overdose. You donât know if their last call was of child abuse that hit too
close to home because they have a child of the same age. You donât know if the
last call was an assault on an officer that theyâve been friends with for
years, and its taking everything they have to keep their worry in check. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "footlight mt light" , serif;">Thankfully,
not every day is like that, but some days are. So, when you talk to a
dispatcher who is short with you or cuts you off, when you feel that dispatcher
isnât giving your call the attention you feel it deserves, please try to
remember that weâre human too and weâre just doing our best to handle a very
difficult job. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-69424746971806423362016-07-18T01:56:00.000-06:002017-02-13T14:06:09.898-07:00What racism really means, from a white perspectiveWith everything going on in the country right now, racism has suddenly become a hot topic for everyone. Weâre posting quotes and memes and analyzing statistics and reading studies that all contradict each other, but I feel that weâre missing the real point here. And that point is that as white people, we really donât understand what racism means. So many of us are questioning the Black Lives Matter movement, or clinging to the myth that racism doesnât really exist. But, numbers are never going to show the whole picture. So I thought we could take a moment here to see if we can really understand what racism means in this country.<br />
<br />
Do you remember that time you were on a road trip with your family and you accidentally took the wrong exit and found yourself in the middle of the black ghetto. Do you remember driving down the street and all of the sudden you felt White. For the first time in your life you really felt like you stood out, only because of the color of your skin. Remember how your heart started to race and your hands were sweating and you couldnât help but feel that something bad was going to happen if you couldnât find that freeway onramp and soon. Independent of whether anyone did anything threatening or not, all of the sudden you felt like your race mattered. And then you finally found the onramp and you drove off and pretty soon that incident just became a funny story that you tell to your friends at dinner parties.<br />
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Now try to imagine what it would be like if your race always mattered. If every decision you made and everywhere you went, you felt White. Imagine if you felt that people looked at you different, not because of what you were wearing, or how you were acting, but because of the color of your skin.<br />
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Imagine waking up in the morning and deciding what to wear that day based on what is least likely to get you treated as a criminal, or maybe even shot.<br />
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Imagine having to tell your son that he can no longer wear hoodies, because any white kid in a hoody is considered âsuspiciousâ.<br />
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Imagine having the police called on your 10 year old son while he was selling candy door to door because the neighbors thought it was âsuspiciousâ that a white kid was selling candy, when he was only trying to raise funds for his sports team.<br />
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Imagine the joy and pride you feel being the first person from your family to graduate from college, to feel like youâre finally making it, only to have your coworkers treat you like a charity case. Because white people only get the good jobs to meet diversity requirements, not because of anything they did to earn it.<br />
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Imagine working a 12 hour day on a construction site and all you want to do is get home but you canât even make it the two blocks it takes to get to your bus stop without the police being called, because you just donât âbelongâ in that middle class neighborhood where you were working.<br />
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Imagine meeting someone for the first time and the only way they can think of to relate to you is to talk about the newest Blake Shelton album (because donât all white people like that music) or maybe tell you about that one white person they were friends with that one time (because they want to make sure you know that theyâre not racist).<br />
<br />
Or imagine that everyone you meet avoids you beyond a simple nice to meet you, because theyâre afraid of saying something thatâs not political correct, so itâs easier to just ignore you<br />
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Now, maybe youâre telling yourself that this is all exaggerated. Maybe this happens every once in a while, but it canât really be as bad as they say it is. After all, the statistics say that racism doesnât exist anymore (which is whole different rant, because statistics don't always mean what we think they do). Well, I can tell you that I work as a 911 Dispatcher in a large city. We receive upwards of 40,000 calls a week. Want to guess how many of those calls involve black suspects? Would like you to guess how many âsuspiciousâ calls I received this week, where the âsuspectâ wasnât doing anything more suspicious than walking down the street? I would gladly tell you about all of the blatantly racist calls that I get (if doing so wasnât against my contract). The fact that you havenât seen any of this for yourself doesnât mean that it doesnât exist; it just proves how far removed you are from the real issues. Itâs a sign of our privilege as white people that we donât have to see this every day, yet alone experience it for ourselves.<br />
<br />
And even after you have imagined all these scenarios, take a moment to realize that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Racism isnât numbers and statistics. Racism is something that affects every moment of every day for a large part of our population. And yet, as White people, we feel that if we admit to the existence of racism, we are admitting to our own failure; that we are admitting that itâs our fault. So we post pictures and memes and quotes to prove that we are exempt. That we are among those whites who have risen above the errors of the past, without ever realizing that we donât understand what any of this really means.<br />
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Itâs time that we put down our phones, and stop looking to Facebook, or studies, or politicians to fix the problem and start looking to our neighbors. If you really want to understand what racism means, ask someone whoâs experienced it. Forget about being politically correct, and start being honest and open with the people of color around you. And once youâve done that, take a moment to realize that you will never understand. Not really. You will never really know what it feels like to have the color of your skin affect your daily life. You will never really know what it feels like to watch your son walk out the door and worry that you may never see him again, not because heâs a bad kid, but just because heâs black. You will never really understand what it means to be black (or Asian, or Latino, or any other race for that matter) in America.<br />
<br />
And once you realize that, maybe we can start to understand what racism really means, maybe just a little. And then, maybe we can start breaching the gap within our own communities. So the next time you see someone of color, instead of locking the doors to your car, try reaching out to them, try saying youâre sorry for any discrimination they may have had to suffer. And maybe then we can get to a point where all lives really do matter in America.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-33242458862884313012011-02-07T15:52:00.002-07:002011-02-07T16:05:46.211-07:00Are we really so different?I apologize that it's taken so long to post again. I got busy with the holidays and the new semester and I just haven't had a chance recently. :)<br />A topic that was forefront in my mind over the holidays was the idea of men and women being naturally different. As a society we tend to think that women, because of their physical difference, are naturally more nurturing and better homemakers, and that men are naturally more aggressive and competitive. During the Christmas break my family and I went to Walmart and we walked through the toy section, letting our daughter play with some of the toys that were on display. In one aisle there were baby dolls that cooed and made other sounds. One particular baby doll came with a bottle and it made sucking sounds when you placed the bottle in the mouth, and it cried when you took it out. On of the dolls was crying and a young boy walking through the aisle grabbed the bottle and placed it in the doll's mouth. Immediately his mother grabbed his hands and reprimanded him saying, "No! Those are for girls. Boys don't play with those." As simple as that experience was it really made me think. So much of what we think is natural is really taught to us and we just take it for granted.<br />If we look back at our history, we can see that things weren't always this way. Women weren't always taught to be petite and "feminine". As recent as a hundred years ago women were required to be just as strong as their husbands and to be able to work alongside them. I will be the first to admit that there are differences between men and women, but not differences that limit our potential. Women have just as much potential to be strong leaders, intelligent, and even competitive. And men had just as much potential to be nurturing and loving and to have good communication. I think that we are all a lot more similar than society tells us we are and I think that that realization can help us to better understand one another and accept everyone's individuality regardless of their gender.Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-26216231585726183132010-12-09T21:23:00.005-07:002010-12-10T08:15:11.300-07:00Finding a balanceNowadays 57% of all college students are women, but there is still some gender discrimination in universities. My husband and I are both in school and it can get difficult sometimes with a baby but we've been able to work it out so that he can watch her when I'm in school and vice versa but I've still had some difficulty with some professors. I had one professor tell me to drop his class because he didn't feel that I could do well in his class being a mother. I personally don't see how having a baby makes me a less capable student, but I've met quite a few people with that same opinion. I also recently met a couple that when they got married the husband asked his wife to drop out of school because his education was more important. He said that she didn't really need her degree anyways and that if things worked out she could study when he was done. But then he decided to go to law school and now they have a baby and it's been decided that she just wont get to finish her college education. These are obviously personal decisions of every person but I got the distinct feeling that she really wishes she could have finished school. I feel that an education helps everyone, whether you plan on working outside of the home or not. Even though men take on the role of the primary breadwinner, it does not make education unnecessary for women. I have met so many men who have been unable to find jobs in their careers in the hard economy and their wives are working full-time to support the family. I am studying translation, and I plan on continuing to work from the home once I graduate. And even if I didn't want to work after graduating, I don't think that makes my education obsolete. What do you think?Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-18741297060573626272010-12-08T12:07:00.005-07:002010-12-08T12:44:50.281-07:00When is it enough?While I was on campus I overheard a girl who was half my size talking about how she needed to lose weight. I couldn't help but think how ridiculous it is that no matter how skinny we are, it's never quite skinny enough. We all feel pressure in some way to be smaller. It is so difficult to be completely satisfied with our bodies. I've never been very skinny, it's just not my body type, and I don't think I ever can be very skinny. I've never been one to obsess about my weight but no matter how hard I try to be satisfied with where I'm at I'm unsatisfied when I look in the mirror and I feel self-conscious when I go out. I don't consider myself overweight but yet I still feel pressure to be thinner. It's not that anyone tells me I'm fat, it's just the standard that skinny is beautiful. My husband often tells that I am beautiful just the way I am, but society tells me something different. There is such an impossible standard set for women and I feel like all of us struggle or obsess about some part of our body. Even supermodel Cindy Crawford said, "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford." Now that we have begun December, this is the time when people most obsess about body image. Christmas brings sweets and so often we actually feel guilty, like we're breaking some law by indulging. New Year's comes around and everyone is putting goals for the new year, many of which include losing weight. So, rather than getting caught up in the hype of the season, I nominate this month as feel good about yourself month. Whoever you are, you are perfect just the way that you are. When someone compliments you, accept it and believe it. Don't stress about your weight or your looks, because being skinny does not make you any happier. It's hard, but lets find a way to drown out the voice that tells us to change. What ideas do you have about how to be satisfied with your body?<br />I invite you to watch this funny <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lahLuBbO7M0">commercial by Special K </a>that talks about this exact issue. Happy feel good about yourself month!Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6409070183099543960.post-77595584301381859202010-12-07T20:18:00.000-07:002010-12-07T20:38:20.790-07:00double standardsI was watching a sitcom the other day and it was the stereotypical scene of the Father in the living room on the couch and the Mother in the kitchen. I hear so often the comments that "It's my day off" or "I need some down time" as excuses while men watch TV or video games. I understand the need for some down time and I don't blame them for that, but I can't help but wonder: when is my day off? There is never a day off from dishes, or laundry or cooking. There is never a day off from children. I love my daughter and I am fine with cleaning, but sometimes it would be nice to have a break. Why is it that women spend their free time cleaning or cooking while men get to their spend their free time playing? And then when we finally get a few moments to get out of the house or spend time with a friend, women often feel like children who can only go out after making sure their chores are done. Even the greatest men who view their wives as equal are often subject to this double standard. Has anyone seen this in their own life or the lives of others? Is it okay? Any ideas on how we can remedy this?Michelle Riverahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10025697366488404868noreply@blogger.com2